• Screens are made so you want to keep going. There's always another video, another level, another thing. It's not you: it's the magnet.
• Sounds call you. Every «ding» from a phone makes you want to look, even when it's not for you.
• Being bored isn't bad. When you're bored, your head starts inventing: games, stories, drawings. If you always cover boredom with a screen, your head has no time to invent.
• Screens in the bedroom take away sleep. Scientists saw that kids with a screen in their bedroom at night slept less and worse, even if they didn't use it. (Carter et al., 2016)
• It happens to grown-ups too! That's why this route is for the whole family.

1. It's not a lack of willpower. In a large study, about a third of the time on social media was explained by self-control problems: people used it more than they themselves wanted to. And when they could set time limits, they used them. (Allcott, Gentzkow and Song, 2022) Apps have whole teams working to bring you back.

2. Every alert pulls you out, even if you don't answer. A notification made people do worse on a task even when nobody touched their phone. (Stothart, Mitchum and Yehnert, 2015)

3. Being alone with your thoughts is hard. In one experiment, many people found it hard to spend a few minutes doing nothing but thinking. (Wilson et al., 2014) That's why we often don't pull out our phone to look for something, but so we don't have to feel something: boredom, nerves, loneliness.

4. There are ages when social media weighs more. In thousands of young people, social media use was linked to lower life satisfaction at certain ages: between 11 and 13 for girls, and between 14 and 15 for boys. (Orben, Przybylski, Blakemore and Kievit, 2022) It doesn't mean it will happen to you. It means it's worth taking care.

5. The nuance. On average, the link between screens and well-being is small. (Orben and Przybylski, 2019) What matters is how, when and instead of what. And almost 3 in 4 teens say they feel peaceful when they don't have their phone. (Pew Research Center, 2024)

1. 1

   It's not a lack of willpower

   A team of researchers tracked how a large group of people used their phones for several weeks. They found that about a third of the time spent on social media was explained by self-control problems: people used it more than they themselves wanted to. And when they were offered the option of setting time limits, they used it, and their use went down. (Allcott, Gentzkow and Song, 2022)

   This tells you two things. First: if it's hard for you, it's not that you're weak. Apps are built by whole teams whose job is to bring you back. Second: limits you choose yourself do work. You don't need more strength. You need to change your surroundings, and you'll see how in lesson 7.

2. 2

   Every alert pulls you out, even if you don't answer

   In one experiment, people who got a notification while doing a task that needed attention did it worse, even if they didn't touch their phone. (Stothart, Mitchum and Yehnert, 2015)

   In another, people spent one week with alerts on and another with alerts off. With alerts on, they felt more distracted and restless. (Kushlev, Proulx and Dunn, 2016)

   You don't have to answer to be pulled out of where you were. It's enough for it to buzz.

3. 3

   Interruptions rush us and stress us

   When people were interrupted while working, they finished faster, but with more stress, more frustration and more sense of pressure. (Mark, Gudith and Klocke, 2008)

   It's the feeling of a day full of messages: you got a lot done, and still you have no strength left.

4. 4

   Being alone with your thoughts is hard

   In a series of experiments, many people found it hard to spend 6 to 15 minutes alone, doing nothing but thinking. In one of them, some people chose to give themselves a small electric shock rather than keep just thinking. (Wilson et al., 2014)

   It's not that thinking is bad. It's that we're not used to it. And the phone is the perfect shield: every time there's an empty moment, a wait or something we don't want to feel, it's there.

   That's why we often don't pull out our phone to look for something. We pull it out so we don't have to feel something: boredom, discomfort, tiredness, loneliness.

5. 5

   The important nuance

   Across more than 355,000 teenagers, the average link between using technology and feeling good was negative, but very small. (Orben and Przybylski, 2019)

   Your phone isn't to blame for everything. What matters is how, when and instead of what you use it. An hour calling your grandmother isn't the same as an hour of videos at one in the morning.