A home where everyone's the boss 🏠
How do we make it easier? · 8 min
Tools for your surroundings
How do I make it easier? · 10 min
Tools for your surroundings
How do I make it easier? · 15 min
Each age has its own progress. People of the same age share this space and its logbook in this browser.
What if your home had places and times where the magnet can't get in?
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
- The basket. At meals, all screens go in a basket. The grown-ups' too!
- The timer. Before you start, set an alarm. When it rings, the screen goes off. No «five more minutes».
- Night, outside. Screens sleep outside the bedrooms.
- The boredom box. Always nearby, for when you can't think of anything.
- Screens that bring you closer. A video call with grandma, a photo for a friend who lives far away. That's being the boss too!
Does it help or not?
A basket for all the screens at the table.
Answer
💪 Helps. That way everyone can talk.
The tablet in bed «in case I wake up».
Answer
🧲 Doesn't help. The magnet won't let you sleep.
Setting an alarm before you start playing.
Answer
💪 Helps. The timer decides, not the magnet.
Only kids put away their screens, not grown-ups.
Answer
🧲 Doesn't help. The rules are for everyone!
At dinner, Mara puts a basket on the table. Lía puts in the tablet. Teo puts in his phone.
Sam leaves his next to his plate.
—Dad —says Lía—. The basket is for everyone.
Sam laughs and puts it in the basket. That night, everyone shares the best part of their day. Sam says that when he was little he used to build cardboard castles, just like Lía.
House rules
Together, make a poster with three rules for the whole family. For example: «At the table, screens go in the basket», «Screens sleep in the kitchen», «When the alarm rings, it goes off». Put it where everyone can see it.
Just for the adult: rules work better when they're talked over with children and when grown-ups follow them too. If one day you don't, say so out loud and try again: that's how children learn that making mistakes and coming back is part of the game.
Put the basket on the table at dinner.
Which rule did you like most?
Five tricky situations!
Finish and go to lesson 8 →Willpower gets tired. Especially at one in the morning.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
- Mute the group chats. Keep only messages from people on. Checking in batches gives more control and less stress. (Fitz et al., 2019)
- Night outside the bedroom. Your phone charging in the kitchen. (Carter et al., 2016)
- Limits you set. Put a time limit on the app that hooks you most. (Allcott, Gentzkow and Song, 2022)
- Make it less appealing. Move that app off your home screen, or try grayscale. (Holte and Ferraro, 2020)
- What you decide counts more than any rule. In 30 English schools, banning phones at school didn't make students better off. (Goodyear et al., 2025) Rules help, but what changes things is what you choose.
- An agreement at home. For everyone, adults included.
Willpower or surroundings?
«Tonight I won't look at it in bed.»
Answer
Willpower. At one in the morning it almost never holds.
Your phone charging in the kitchen.
Answer
Surroundings. You don't have to decide anything in bed anymore.
«I'll use TikTok less.»
Answer
Willpower. It's a wish, not a plan.
A 30-minute daily limit on TikTok.
Answer
Surroundings. Your phone tells you when you get there.
Muting the group chat during homework.
Answer
Surroundings. The alert doesn't sound, and it doesn't pull you out.
Teo proposes something to his mom:
—I'll leave my phone here at ten. But you do too.
His mom laughs. Then she thinks about it.
—Deal.
The first night, Teo can't sleep. By the third, he's asleep before eleven. The one who forgets most is his mom. Teo reminds her.
Your surroundings in 15 minutes
With your phone in hand:
- Mute group chats and apps that aren't from people.
- Move the app that hooks you most off your home screen.
- Set a time limit on it.
- Choose where your phone will charge at night.
Your phone sleeps outside your bedroom.
Which change did you notice most?
Six real-life situations.
Finish and go to lesson 8 →Sources for this lesson
- Fitz, N., Kushlev, K., Jagannathan, R., Lewis, T., Paliwal, D. and Ariely, D. (2019). Batching smartphone notifications can improve well-being. Computers in Human Behavior, 101, 84–94. View source: Fitz, N., Kushlev, K., Jagannathan, R., Lewis, T., Paliwal, D. and Ariely, D. (2019). Batching smartphone notifications can improve well-being. Computers in Human Behavior, 101, 84–94.
- Carter, B., Rees, P., Hale, L., Bhattacharjee, D. and Paradkar, M. S. (2016). Association between portable screen-based media device access or use and sleep outcomes. JAMA Pediatrics, 170(12), 1202–1208. View source: Carter, B., Rees, P., Hale, L., Bhattacharjee, D. and Paradkar, M. S. (2016). Association between portable screen-based media device access or use and sleep outcomes. JAMA Pediatrics, 170(12), 1202–1208.
- Allcott, H., Gentzkow, M. and Song, L. (2022). Digital addiction. American Economic Review, 112(7), 2424–2463. View source: Allcott, H., Gentzkow, M. and Song, L. (2022). Digital addiction. American Economic Review, 112(7), 2424–2463.
- Holte, A. J. and Ferraro, F. R. (2020). True colors: Grayscale setting reduces screen time in college students. The Social Science Journal. https://doi.org/10.1080/03623319.2020.1737461 View source: Holte, A. J. and Ferraro, F. R. (2020). True colors: Grayscale setting reduces screen time in college students. The Social Science Journal. https://doi.org/10.1080/03623319.2020.1737461
- Goodyear, V. A. et al. (2025). School phone policies and their association with mental wellbeing, phone use, and social media use (SMART Schools): A cross-sectional observational study. The Lancet Regional Health – Europe. View source: Goodyear, V. A. et al. (2025). School phone policies and their association with mental wellbeing, phone use, and social media use (SMART Schools): A cross-sectional observational study. The Lancet Regional Health – Europe.
If you want to eat fewer sweets, it doesn't help much to keep them on the table and promise not to touch them.
It helps not to have them within reach.
Your phone is the same.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Willpower gets tired. Your surroundings don't. So instead of fighting every time, change what's around you.
Alerts in batches
Silence everything that isn't from people: apps, offers, social media. And check at times you choose.
In one experiment, people who got their notifications grouped three times a day felt more in control, less stressed and better able to concentrate. (Fitz et al., 2019) And people who checked email only three times a day, instead of constantly, had less stress without losing productivity. (Kushlev and Dunn, 2015)
Out of the bedroom at night
In children and young people, having a phone in the bedroom at night was linked to sleeping less and worse, even if they didn't use it. (Carter et al., 2016)
Charge it in another room. If you use it as an alarm, buy an alarm clock.
Phone-free places and times
Choose places and times where the phone doesn't come in: the table, the car, the first hour of the day, the last hour before bed. That way you don't have to decide each time. It's already decided.
Limits you choose
In the study from lesson 3, when people were offered the option of setting time limits on apps, many used it, and their use went down. (Allcott, Gentzkow and Song, 2022)
Your phone already has that option. Set a limit on the app that steals the most time.
Make it less appealing
Move the apps that hook you most off your home screen. Some studies with students found that switching the screen to grayscale lowered daily use. (Holte and Ferraro, 2020)
The more steps the reflex has to take, the more often you'll have time to ask «what for?».
The house agreement
Rules for everyone, adults included. Talked over, not imposed. And starting with you: kids don't do what we tell them, they do what they see us do.
A good way to start: ask your family when they'd like nobody to be on their phone. The answer may surprise you.
And if you can't stop
If you feel your phone is hurting you and you can't stop even when you try, that has a name too, and there's help. Talking to a doctor or a psychologist isn't overreacting. You'll see more in lesson 8.
Willpower or surroundings?
«Tonight I won't look at my phone in bed.»
Answer
Willpower. At eleven at night, sleepy, it almost never holds.
Leaving the phone charging in the kitchen.
Answer
Surroundings. You don't have to decide anything in bed anymore.
«I'll check the work chat less.»
Answer
Willpower. Without a clear rule, every alert is a new fight.
Muting the chat and checking it at 10, 2 and 5.
Answer
Surroundings. The alert doesn't sound, and the decision is already made.
A basket on the table where everyone leaves their phone.
Answer
Surroundings. It works for everyone, and nobody has to police anyone.
«I'll use Instagram less.»
Answer
Willpower. It's a wish, not a plan.
Setting a 30-minute daily limit on Instagram.
Answer
Surroundings. Your phone tells you when you get there.
You don't need to be stronger. You need it to be easier.
Mara wants to propose a rule: no phones at the table and none after ten. She rehearses the speech.
Before she says anything, Teo looks at her:
—What about you? You're on the work chat all day.
Mara goes quiet. He's right.
—You're right —she says—. Let's start with me. When would you like me not to be on my phone?
Teo thinks about it.
—When I'm telling you something. And at dinner.
They make the agreement together. The basket is for everyone. Mara mutes the work chat after eight. Teo leaves his phone charging in the kitchen after ten, and so does his mom.
The first week, the one who forgets most is Mara. Teo reminds her, with a smile.
Your surroundings in 15 minutes
With your phone in hand. It's the only thing you'll do with it today.
Step 1 · Alerts. Go to your notification settings. Leave on only the ones from people (calls and messages from people you care about). Silence everything else.
Step 2 · Home screen. Move the two apps that hook you most off your first screen.
Step 3 · A limit. Set a daily time limit on the app you spend the most time on.
Step 4 · Where it sleeps. Choose where your phone will charge at night, outside your bedroom.
Step 5 · Your first house rule. Write one rule to propose at home, starting with you. For example: «No phones at the table, mine included».
Tonight, your phone sleeps outside your bedroom.
Which change to your surroundings was hardest to make? Which did you notice most?
Now you have tools for the moment and for your surroundings.
In the next lesson you'll test them in six hard situations: your child talks to you while you're on your phone, the dinner where everyone is on a screen, work messaging you at night… and when your phone is your escape from something that hurts.
Finish and go to lesson 8 →Sources for this lesson
- Fitz, N., Kushlev, K., Jagannathan, R., Lewis, T., Paliwal, D. and Ariely, D. (2019). Batching smartphone notifications can improve well-being. Computers in Human Behavior, 101, 84–94. View source: Fitz, N., Kushlev, K., Jagannathan, R., Lewis, T., Paliwal, D. and Ariely, D. (2019). Batching smartphone notifications can improve well-being. Computers in Human Behavior, 101, 84–94.
- Kushlev, K. and Dunn, E. W. (2015). Checking email less frequently reduces stress. Computers in Human Behavior, 43, 220–228. View source: Kushlev, K. and Dunn, E. W. (2015). Checking email less frequently reduces stress. Computers in Human Behavior, 43, 220–228.
- Carter, B., Rees, P., Hale, L., Bhattacharjee, D. and Paradkar, M. S. (2016). Association between portable screen-based media device access or use and sleep outcomes. JAMA Pediatrics, 170(12), 1202–1208. View source: Carter, B., Rees, P., Hale, L., Bhattacharjee, D. and Paradkar, M. S. (2016). Association between portable screen-based media device access or use and sleep outcomes. JAMA Pediatrics, 170(12), 1202–1208.
- Allcott, H., Gentzkow, M. and Song, L. (2022). Digital addiction. American Economic Review, 112(7), 2424–2463. View source: Allcott, H., Gentzkow, M. and Song, L. (2022). Digital addiction. American Economic Review, 112(7), 2424–2463.
- Holte, A. J. and Ferraro, F. R. (2020). True colors: Grayscale setting reduces screen time in college students. The Social Science Journal. https://doi.org/10.1080/03623319.2020.1737461 View source: Holte, A. J. and Ferraro, F. R. (2020). True colors: Grayscale setting reduces screen time in college students. The Social Science Journal. https://doi.org/10.1080/03623319.2020.1737461
Lesson 7 of 10.
You're doing well.
To take with youPut the basket on the table at dinner.
To take with youYour phone sleeps outside your bedroom.
To take with youTonight, your phone sleeps outside your bedroom.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.