• Doing things together makes the team bigger. When kids from different groups play on the same team, they become friends. When they only play against each other, not so much.
• Your voice helps. When one kid says «don't make fun of him!», others find the courage to say it too.
• Getting to know families. When you meet the family of a friend from another country, you find out they love each other just like yours.
• Being on your team is fine. You can love your soccer team and be friends with someone who supports the other one.

1. Getting to know someone helps, but crossing paths isn't enough. You have to get to know each other. (Paluck, Green and Green, 2019)
2. Better on the same team. People from groups that didn't mix made friends when they played on the same team, not when they played against each other. (Lowe, 2021)
3. Your friends' friends count. Knowing that someone from your group is friends with someone from the other group already improves how you see them. (Wright et al., 1997)
4. Your voice changes the atmosphere. In 56 schools, a few influential students said publicly that fighting and conflict weren't okay. Conflicts in their schools dropped by about 30% in a year. (Paluck, Shepherd and Aronow, 2016)

Many people don't agree with hatred, but keep quiet because they think they're the only one. When one person speaks up, others find courage.

1. 1

   Getting to know someone helps, but crossing paths isn't enough

   On average, contact between people from different groups reduces prejudice. But in the strictest studies the effect is smaller than is usually claimed, especially when it comes to origin or skin color. (Paluck, Green and Green, 2019)

   Passing each other in the street isn't enough. You have to get to know each other.

2. 2

   Better on the same team

   In India, a researcher set up cricket leagues with men from groups that barely mixed. Some were put on mixed teams; others only played against the other group. Those who played on the same team made more friends and favored their own less. Those who only played against each other didn't. (Lowe, 2021)

   Facing off isn't the same as building something together. A neighborhood game, a project at work, a community work day, a shared meal.

3. 3

   Your friends' friends count too

   Just knowing that someone from your group has a close friend from the other group already improves how you see that group. (Wright, Aron, McLaughlin-Volpe and Ropp, 1997)

   That's why your friendships aren't only yours: they also teach your family and friends that «them» has faces.

4. 4

   One conversation can change a lot

   Conversations of about ten minutes, in which people were invited to remember when they themselves had been judged and to put themselves in the other person's place, reduced a prejudice. The effect was still there three months later. (Broockman and Kalla, 2016)

5. 5

   Correct what you think they think

   As you saw in lesson 3, we tend to think the other group hates us more than it does. And showing people what the other side really thinks was among the things that most helped lower hostility. (Moore-Berg et al., 2020; Voelkel et al., 2024)

   Often, hatred is an idea about the other side that nobody checked.

6. 6

   Your voice changes the atmosphere

   In 56 schools, a few influential students took a public stand against conflict and fighting. In their schools, conflict reports dropped by about 30% in a year. (Paluck, Shepherd and Aronow, 2016)

   And in Rwanda, years after terrible violence between groups, a radio drama about two neighboring communities changed what listeners saw as normal: more trust, more cooperation, more willingness to speak their minds. Interestingly, it changed little of what each person privately believed. It changed what they felt free to do. (Paluck, 2009)

   Many people don't agree with hatred, but keep quiet because they think they're the only one. When one person speaks up, others find courage. Like the moms in the class chat.