Today
Color theme
ES
Menu
Color theme
Leer en español
← Hating the otherLesson 10 of 10

You made it! 🏅

What changed? · 10 min

The close

What changed? · 12 min

The close

What changed? · 15 min

Each age has its own progress. People of the same age share this space and its logbook in this browser.

  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. 7
  8. 8
  9. 9
  10. 10
To start

Remember the mirror from the beginning? Let's do it again.

Try it

Your mirror, again

Choose one option for each sentence.

I think kids from another class or another team are worse.
I say a whole group is bad without knowing anyone in it.
I laugh when someone talks with a different accent.
I make fun of another kid's food or clothes.
I boo the other team at games.
I don't let someone play because they're «one of the others».
Because of what one kid did, I blame their whole group.
I repeat mean things about other groups that I heard grown-ups say.

This doesn't measure your worth. It's a reflection, not a diagnosis.

The exercise

Your letter

Draw, or tell the adult (so they can write it), a message for yourself: «What I learned is…».

A message for you

A message for you (the adult reads it out loud)

Hi. I want to tell you something about when I was young.

I loved a really loud kind of music called metal. My friends and I dressed in black and had long hair. Some people thought we were bad, and they didn't even know us! They said mean things about us, and even said them to my family. Luckily, my family really knew me, and knew what I was truly like.

That's when I learned something very important: you can't tell what someone is like from their music, their clothes, their team or where they come from. Every person is different.

It's also happened to me the other way around: I've thought something mean about someone without knowing them. And then, when I got to know them, what a surprise! They were so much better than I thought.

So I'm telling you: give everyone a chance. Ask their name, play with them, get to know them. You might find your best friend where you least expected.

We're all different, and we're all valuable. Welcome to the big team!

With love,
the one who wrote this route

Your badge is waiting at the end of the 10 lessons.
The badge

You finished the big team route!

Sometimes you'll make little teams, like everyone does. But now you know how to make them bigger: ask their name, find what you have in common and invite them to play.

To start

A few days ago you answered twelve sentences about how you talk about «them». Today you'll answer them again.

Try it

Your mirror, again

Choose one option for each sentence.

I talk about a whole group as if they were all the same.
I say «those guys» or «that lot» to talk about a group.
I share memes that mock a group.
I forward stuff against a group without knowing if it's true.
I use words like «rats» or «animals» to talk about people.
I insult the rival fans or kids from the other school.
I laugh at jokes about someone's accent, origin or neighborhood.
If someone gets upset about a joke like that, I think they're overreacting.
I repeat things about a group that I heard at home.
When someone in my family talks badly about a group, I don't say anything.
Because of something one person did to me, I distrust their whole group.
If one of mine does something wrong, I excuse it; if one of them does it, I think «that's how they are».

This doesn't measure your worth. It's a reflection, not a diagnosis.

The exercise

The letter

«To me, a year from now: on this route I found out that my strongest “them” was… The person from that group I'm most glad I got to know is… If I say “those guys” again, I want to remind you that…»
A message for you

Before you close this route, I want to tell you something about me.

When I was young I loved metal. So did most of my friends. Because of the music we listened to and how we looked, I often heard that we were dangerous people, that we were up to no good. Nobody who said that knew us. Those comments reached my family. Luckily, they knew me well.

I didn't care much what people thought, and I never felt I had to prove anything to anyone. But I learned something I haven't forgotten: generalizing isn't right, neither for bad nor for good. Every person is different, sees things in their own way, and not everyone in a group thinks the same.

It's also happened to me the other way around. Many times, without meaning to, I've thought badly of someone because of the group they were in. And then, when I got to know them, I had a good surprise: they were much more than I expected. With some people it takes very little time to see they're good people. With others it takes longer. But it's almost always worth the wait.

Nobody taught me this all at once. I learned it over time, getting to know people and opening my mind. Today I know that we're all different and we're all valuable.

So, now that you're finishing, I'll tell you this:

Don't poison your mind with ideas nobody checked. Give yourself the chance to really get to know people. We miss out on valuable friends over meaningless things: an appearance, a shirt, a kind of music, a neighborhood. And if you get to know someone well and you really don't like them, that's fine: leave it there.

What's not worth it is hatred. Hatred wears you down, and the one it wears down most is the one who hates.

Time is too valuable to waste hating others. Use it to get to know them.

With love,
the one who wrote this route

Your badge is waiting at the end of the 10 lessons.
The badge

You finished the hatred of others route.

You'll still have your team, your neighborhood and your ideas. That's fine. But now you know that behind every «them» there are people with names.

To start

A few days ago you answered twelve sentences about how you talk about «them».

Today you'll answer them again.

Try it

Your mirror, again

Choose one option for each sentence.

I talk about a whole group as if they were all the same.
I say «those people» or «that lot» to talk about a group.
I share memes or news that mock a group.
I forward messages against a group without knowing if they're true.
I use words like «invasion», «plague» or «animals» to talk about people.
I insult people on the other side in soccer or politics.
I laugh at jokes about someone's accent, origin or neighborhood.
If someone gets upset about a joke like that, I think they're overreacting.
I repeat things about a group that I heard as a kid.
When someone in my family talks badly about a group, I don't say anything.
Because of something one person did to me, I distrust their whole group.
If one of mine does something wrong, I excuse it; if one of them does it, I think «that's how they are».

This doesn't measure your worth. It's a reflection, not a diagnosis.

The exercise · 10 min

The letter

Write yourself a letter to read a year from now.

«To me, a year from now: on this route I found out that my strongest “them” was… The person from that group I'm most glad I got to know is… What I want my kids (or the kids around me) to hear me say is… If a year from now I catch myself saying “those people”, I want to remind you that…»
A message for you

Before you close this route, I want to tell you something about me.

When I was young I loved metal. So did most of my friends. Because of the music we listened to and how we looked, I often heard that we were dangerous people, that we were up to no good, that we did drugs. Nobody who said that knew us. Those comments reached my family. Luckily, they knew me well.

I didn't care much what people thought, and I never felt I had to prove anything to anyone. But I learned something I haven't forgotten: generalizing isn't right, neither for bad nor for good. Every person is different, sees things in their own way, and not everyone in a group thinks the same.

It's also happened to me the other way around. Many times, without meaning to, I've thought badly of someone because of the group they were in. And then, when I got to know them, I had a good surprise: they were much more than I expected. With some people it takes very little time to see they're good people. With others it takes longer. But it's almost always worth the wait.

Nobody taught me this all at once. I learned it over time, getting to know people and opening my mind. Today I know that we're all different and we're all valuable. The problem is that almost nobody takes the time to get to know others anymore. We live in a world that looks a lot at appearances and judges with very little.

So, now that you're finishing, I'll tell you this:

Don't poison your mind with ideas nobody checked. Hatred of others is often made of things we believed without knowing anyone.

Give yourself the chance to really get to know people. We miss out on valuable friends over meaningless things: an appearance, a shirt, a kind of music, a neighborhood, an idea with no basis. And if you get to know someone well and you really don't like them, that's fine: leave it there. You don't have to get along with everyone.

What's not worth it is hatred. Hatred wears you down, and the one it wears down most is the one who hates.

Time is too valuable to waste hating others. Use it to get to know them.

With love,
the one who wrote this route

Your badge is waiting at the end of the 10 lessons.
The badge

You finished the hatred of others route.

You'll still have your team, your neighborhood and your ideas. That's fine. But now you know that behind every «them» there are people with names. And that bridges are built from both banks.

What comes after
7-day practiceOptional, after lesson 10. Each day is a 15 to 30 minute experiment in three parts: you get ready, you do it, and you look at what happened.Start the practice →
Related routes
RacismNot judgingDiscrimination · SoonEmpathyBullying and harassment · Soon

Share a line from this route

Quote
Format

What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.

Before you begin

Life slips by while we wait for it to start.

I'm not an expert in anything. I'm someone who gets things wrong a lot and is still learning how to live.

I made this place because happiness is almost never later: it's in the people close to you today, and in the day you're living right now.

You won't find sermons here. You'll find short routes to look at yourself honestly and change something, little by little.

It's always a good time to begin.

Read the whole letter
Leer en español