The compass

There was a very good man who always had lots of people following him. Even so, he noticed who was sad.

• He stopped and asked. A man who couldn't see was shouting to him from the side of the road. People told him: «Be quiet!». But he stopped and asked: «What do you want me to do for you?». He didn't guess: he asked.
• He cried with his friends. Two friends of his were very, very sad. When he saw them crying, he cried with them too. He didn't tell them «don't cry». He stayed with them.
• The children nobody let come near. Some children wanted to see him, but his friends pushed them away: «He's busy!». He got angry with his friends, called the children over and hugged them.

His antennas were always on. He looked, he asked, and he stayed. And he never forgot the little ones.

The compass

There was a man who always had a crowd following him. Even so, he noticed who was suffering.

• He stopped and asked. A blind man was shouting to him from the side of the road. The crowd told him to be quiet. He stopped and asked: «What do you want me to do for you?». It was obvious, but he didn't assume: he asked.
• He cried with his friends. Two friends of his had lost their brother. When he saw them crying, he cried with them. He didn't give a speech. He was there.
• The children nobody let come near. His friends pushed the children away because he was «busy». He got angry, called them over and hugged them.
• «Come and rest a while». His friends were exhausted from helping. He told them to come with him to a quiet place to rest.
• «Stay with me». On the hardest night of his life, he asked three friends to stay awake with him. They fell asleep. He asked again. Even he needed company.

In none of these scenes does he give a sermon. He looks, he asks, and he stays. And he also rests and asks for company: to be there for others you have to look after yourself, and asking for help isn't weakness.

Compassion can be trained. A group practiced wishing others well for a few minutes a day for two weeks, and afterwards they helped someone treated unfairly more. (Weng et al., 2013)

The compass

There was a man who always had a crowd following him. Even so, he noticed who was suffering.

1. 1

   He stopped and asked

   He was leaving a city, surrounded by people. A blind man begging by the side of the road started shouting for him. The crowd told him to be quiet. He stopped, asked for the man to be brought to him, and asked what he wanted him to do for him. It was obvious what he needed. Even so, he didn't assume: he asked, and gave the man the chance to say it himself.

2. 2

   He cried with his friends

   He arrived at the home of two sisters, friends of his, who were heartbroken because they had lost their brother. When he saw one of them crying, and the people with her, he was deeply moved and cried with them. He didn't give a speech. He was there, and felt with them.

3. 3

   The children nobody let come near

   Some mothers brought their small children to him. His friends pushed them away: he was busy with «important» things. He got angry with his friends, called the children over and hugged them.

4. 4

   «Come and rest a while»

   His friends came back exhausted after many days of helping others. There were so many people coming and going that they didn't even have time to eat. He told them to come with him to a quiet place and rest a while. When the crowd followed them there, he didn't send them away: he saw they were lost, with no one to guide them, and he stayed with them. He looked after others, and he also looked after his friends' rest.

5. 5

   «Stay with me»

   On the hardest night of his life, afraid and with enormous sadness, he asked three of his friends to stay awake with him while he went a little way off. He came back and found them asleep. He asked again. Again he found them asleep. He didn't throw it in their faces: he understood they were tired. But he asked. Even he needed company.

1. 1

   What they have in common

   In none of these scenes does he give a sermon. He looks, he asks, and he stays.

   • He stops for the one everyone is telling to be quiet.
   • He asks even when the answer seems obvious.
   • He cries with those who cry, without explaining anything.
   • He sees the ones left out, even when he's busy.

   And there's something people tend to forget: he also rests, and he also asks for company. He doesn't carry everything alone. He knows that to be there for others you have to look after yourself, and that asking for help isn't weakness.

2. 2

   Compassion can be trained

   This isn't only for special people. In one study, a group practiced compassion for a few minutes a day for two weeks: wishing well to someone they loved, to a stranger and to someone difficult. Afterwards they helped a person they saw being treated unfairly more than a group that practiced something else. (Weng et al., 2013)

   What you practice grows.