Judging glasses are sneaky: you almost never notice you have them on.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Six tricks
- The nickname: you give someone a mean name.
- The “that's weird”: you think different means bad.
- The “I know what they're like”: you saw them once and already decided.
- The gossip: you tell something about someone that you don't know is true.
- The “they can't play”: you don't let someone play without giving them a chance.
- The judge of me: “I'm stupid”, “everything goes wrong for me”.
Glasses on or not?
Saying “hi, what's your name?” to the new kid.
Answer
🙂 No glasses. That's how you get to know someone!
Laughing at how someone talks.
Answer
👓 Glasses on. It's the “that's weird” trick.
Inviting someone who's always alone to play.
Answer
🙂 No glasses. You're giving them a chance.
Giving a classmate a mean nickname.
Answer
👓 Glasses on. It's the nickname trick.
Asking someone what they like.
Answer
🙂 No glasses. That's how you find out what they're really like.
Saying “I'm stupid” when you make a mistake.
Answer
👓 Glasses on. Glasses on, with yourself!
A girl in Lía's class wants to play ball.
“No, you're bad at it,” they tell her.
Nobody has ever seen her play. Which trick did the glasses use?
Guess the trick
The adult acts out a trick and the child guesses which one it is. Then switch.
If you spot a trick today, in you or in someone at home, say it kindly: “Your glasses went on!”
Which trick do your glasses use most?
Why do our glasses go on?
Finish and go to lesson 3 →Nobody says “I'm going to judge someone”. We say “lol just kidding”, “I'm only saying what everyone thinks” or “I'd never do that”.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Eight disguises
- The labeler. “The weird one”, “the stuck-up one”, “the fake one”. One word instead of a person.
- The one who already knows. You saw them twice and you've already filed them.
- The joker. You laugh at someone “without meaning any harm”.
- Gossip in disguise. “I'm not one to gossip, but…”.
- The forwarder. You send the screenshot or the voice note “so they can see”.
- The “I'd never”. “I'd never dress like that.”
- The outraged scroller. One video and you already know who they are and what they deserve.
- The judge of yourself. “I'm a mess.” The same harshness, pointed inward.
All eight do the same thing: they turn one moment into a whole person.
Judgment or fact?
“He didn't answer my message.”
Answer
Fact. It's something that happened. There could be many reasons.
“He's fake.”
Answer
Judgment. It's a conclusion about who he is.
“She sat alone at break.”
Answer
Fact. It's what you saw, not what it means.
“She thinks she's better than everyone.”
Answer
Judgment. You don't know what she thinks. You're assuming.
“He said something that hurt me.”
Answer
Fact. You're talking about what he did and what you felt, not who he is.
“He'll never change.”
Answer
Judgment. It's a prediction dressed up as certainty.
Someone posts a photo in the group of a classmate wearing a strange T-shirt. Laughs and stickers pour in. Teo sends one too.
The classmate isn't in the group. He doesn't know the whole class is laughing at him.
Your two disguises
Step 1 · Mark the two you use most.
Step 2 · A real example of each one, and rewrite it as a fact: “he's weird” becomes “he doesn't talk to anyone at break”.
Every time you're about to put a label on someone, swap it for a fact. Even if it's just in your head.
Which disguise was hardest to recognize?
Why do we decide who someone is in a second?
Finish and go to lesson 3 →Nobody says “I'm going to judge this person”.
We say “I'm just telling the truth”, “I'd never do that” or “I'm not one to gossip, but…”.
Judging almost never sounds like judging. It wears a disguise.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Eight disguises
These are the most common. Most of us use two or three.
- The armchair judge. From far away you know exactly what the other person should have done: how to raise their kids, how to spend their money, who to marry.
- The one who already knows what they're like. You saw them twice and you've already filed them. Everything they do afterward confirms what you thought.
- The labeler. “The lazy one”, “the intense one”, “the toxic one”. One word that replaces a whole person.
- Gossip in disguise. “I'm not one to gossip, but…”, “I'm only telling you because I'm worried…”. And you tell it anyway.
- The “I'd never”. “I'd never leave my kids alone”, “I'd never get into debt like that.” Easy to say when you're not in their place.
- The outraged scroller. A ten-second video and you already know who that person is, what they deserve and what should be done to them.
- The “I'm just telling the truth”. You use honesty as permission to hurt.
- The judge of yourself. “I'm a mess”, “I never do anything right.” The same harshness, pointed inward.
What they have in common
All eight turn one moment into a whole person. A mistake becomes “that's how he is”. A photo becomes a life. A bad day becomes a character.
And almost all of them put us, without saying it, a little above the other person.
Judgment or fact?
“He was late three times this week.”
Answer
Fact. It's something you saw. It can be talked about.
“He's irresponsible.”
Answer
Judgment. It's a conclusion about who he is.
“That mom doesn't look after her kids.”
Answer
Judgment. You saw one moment, not all of her parenting.
“She didn't hand in the report on Friday.”
Answer
Fact. You can talk about that without attacking anyone.
“She's fake: she smiles at me and then talks about me.”
Answer
It depends. If you really know it, it's a painful fact. If someone told you, it's a second-hand judgment.
“That man in the video is crazy.”
Answer
Judgment. Ten seconds isn't a life.
“She said something that hurt me.”
Answer
Fact. You're talking about what she did and what you felt, not who she is.
“He'll never change.”
Answer
Judgment. It's a prediction dressed up as certainty.
Facts can be talked about. Judgments close the conversation before it starts.
Omar leaves every Thursday at four in the afternoon.
“He's got it easy,” Mara tells a coworker. “The rest of us stay until six.”
“It's always been like that,” the other replies. “He has his privileges.”
Nobody asks Omar anything. Nobody knows that on Thursdays he takes his daughter to therapy and makes up those hours working from home on Saturday.
Your two disguises
Step 1 · Choose. Of the eight disguises, mark the two you use most.
Step 2 · A real example of each one. Who was it about? What did you say or think?
Step 3 · Rewrite it as a fact. Change each example into what you really saw. “He's lazy” becomes “he didn't help clean up after dinner”.
Step 4 · Notice the difference. How does what you feel about that person change when you talk about what they did and not who they are?
Every time you're about to put a label on someone, swap it for a fact. Even if it's just in your head.
Which disguise was hardest to recognize? Why do you think you use it?
Why do we decide who someone is in a second, and then find it so hard to change our minds?
In the next lesson you'll understand where judgment comes from. And why with others we think “that's how he is”, but with ourselves we think “I had a bad day”.
Finish and go to lesson 3 →Lesson 2 of 10.
Great start.
To take with youIf you spot a trick today, in you or in someone at home, say it kindly: “Your glasses went on!”
To take with youEvery time you're about to put a label on someone, swap it for a fact. Even if it's just in your head.
To take with youEvery time you're about to put a label on someone, swap it for a fact. Even if it's just in your head.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.