Tricky situations 💪
What do I do if this happens? · 10 min
Difficult situations
What do I do if this happens to me? · 15 min
Difficult situations
What do I do if this happens to me? · 20 min
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The glasses show up in everyday moments. Let's practice, so that when it really happens you already know what to do.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to play
There are five situations. In each one, choose what you'd do and see what happens. You can do some today and some tomorrow.
A new kid arrives
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
Laugh at how he talks.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 👓 He's left alone.
“Hi! What's your name?”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🙂 You have a new friend!
The trick: different isn't weird.
Someone “can't play”
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
“No, you're bad.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 👓 They get sad.
“Come play!”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🙂 Maybe they play really well!
The trick: give them a chance.
Someone gives a classmate a nickname
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
Repeat the nickname.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 👓 Your classmate gets sad.
Call them by their name.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🙂 They feel good!
The trick: names are better than nicknames.
Someone tells you some gossip
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
Tell it to others.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 👓 The gossip grows.
“I don't know if it's true. Better not.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🙂 The gossip stops.
The trick: if you don't know it's true, don't tell it.
They laugh at you
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
What do you do?
Laugh at them too.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. 👓 You fight.
Tell an adult and keep being you.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. 🙂 They help you, and you know you matter.
The trick: what they say about you isn't who you are.
Act it out
Act out together the situation that happens to the child most. Then switch roles.
Choose one trick and use it today.
Which of the five situations happens to you most?
Your superhero plan!
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Knowing you shouldn't judge is easy. Not joining in when the whole class has already decided who someone is, that's something else. This lesson is a rehearsal.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to use this lesson
There are five situations. You can do them in order or go straight to the one that helps you most. In each one you choose what to answer and see what happens.
The callout in the group chat
Inside. Everyone's forwarding. If you don't, you're left out.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A screenshot of a classmate lands in the group with a message: “Look what she said.”
You forward it.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. It reaches the whole school.
You laugh with a sticker.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Your laugh adds to the pile.
“Has anyone asked her? We don't know the context.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The group calms down.
Step by step
- Don't forward.
- Ask for context.
- If there's real harm, talk to an adult.
“The weird one” in class
Inside. Everyone calls him “the weird one”. You're curious, but you don't want to be seen with him.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
In a group project, nobody picks him.
You don't pick him either.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. He's left alone again.
You pick him, but you don't talk to him.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. It's something, but he's still alone.
You pick him and ask him what he's into.
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. You find out he draws amazingly. Your project turns out the best in the class.
The trick: one real question is worth more than a month of assumptions.
The label they put on you
Inside. They've been calling you “stuck-up” or “weird” for months. It hurts, and you don't know how to shake it off.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
Someone at break: «Oh, you're the stuck-up one.»
“And you're an idiot.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Now there's a fight, and the label stays.
You say nothing and walk away.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The label stays.
“Why do you think that? We've barely talked.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. They stop to think: “Honestly, I don't know.”
Step by step
- Answer with a question.
- Show who you are through what you do.
- If it's bullying, ask an adult for help.
Gossip at break
Inside. Someone tells you something about someone. It's juicy. You want to pass it on.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
A friend: «Did you hear what Camila did? I'll tell you, but don't say anything.»
You listen and tell others.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The gossip grows.
You listen, but you don't repeat it.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. At least you didn't make it bigger.
“If she's not here, better not.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. Your friend laughs: “You're right.” You change the subject.
The trick: the three filters: is it true? is it necessary? does it help?
The teacher who “has it in for you”
Inside. You feel like one teacher always corrects you. You've already decided they “hate you”.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
The teacher hands back your work covered in corrections.
“You always have it in for me.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The teacher gets annoyed.
You put the work away and say nothing.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. You keep thinking they hate you.
“Could you explain what I should improve?”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The teacher explains calmly. They tell you they correct a lot because they see you can do more.
The trick: separate what they did (correct you) from what you decided (that they hate you). And ask.
Your situation
Write a judging situation that keeps happening in your life, with the same parts.
Go over the step by step of one situation before bed.
Which option would you have chosen before this route?
Your plan. And what to do the day you judge again.
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Knowing you shouldn't judge is easy. Not joining in when the whole group has already decided who someone is, that's something else.
This lesson is a rehearsal.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
How to use this lesson
There are five situations. You can do them in order or go straight to the one that helps you most, and you can do the lesson in two sittings.
Each one has five parts: the scene, what's going on inside, the simulator, step by step and if it goes wrong.
The group chat criticizes someone
The scene. In the work chat (or the family chat, or the school chat) someone writes: “Did you see what Pedro did? So embarrassing.” Laughs, outrage, more comments arrive. Pedro isn't in the group.
Inside. The urge to join in so you're not left out. Or discomfort, but fear of being the only one to say something.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You send a laughing emoji.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Your laugh joins the others. The judgment grows.
You say nothing.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The chat stays the same. But nobody knows you disagree.
“I don't know what happened to him. Has anyone talked to him?”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The chat calms down. Someone replies: “You're right, I don't really know.”
Step by step
- In the moment: a short sentence that attacks no one: “I don't know that for sure”, “Has anyone talked to him?”.
- Afterward: if you know the person, ask them directly how they are.
- Going forward: don't forward anyone's screenshots. If there's a real problem, it's raised with the right person.
If it goes wrong. If you already joined in, you can go back: “I laughed without knowing. Let's talk to him before we have an opinion.”
The viral video
The scene. A video of someone shouting in a supermarket, crying in a line or making a mistake on camera. Millions of views. The comments are cruel.
Inside. Laughter, outrage, the urge to post something clever. It seems harmless: “It's a stranger.”
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You post a mocking comment.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Your comment gets likes. Someone posts where that person works.
You share it with your friends “for a laugh”.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. The video reaches more people.
You scroll past, and think: “I don't know what happened to them that day.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The video still exists, but you didn't add weight to it.
Step by step
- Remember: ten seconds isn't a life. Behind it is a person with a family, a job and a day you don't know.
- Don't feed it: no comments, no likes, no sharing. Online, every reaction pushes the video to more people.
- If your kids see it: talk with them: “What do you think happened to that person?”
If it goes wrong. If you already commented or shared, delete it. It's not much, but it's something.
The coworker who “does nothing”
The scene. On your team there's someone who seems to do little. Arrives just on time, leaves early, delivers the minimum. Everyone grumbles.
Inside. Anger: “I do twice as much for the same pay.” The urge to complain to everyone except him.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You complain to other coworkers at lunch.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. A group forms against him. The problem stays.
You do his part in silence, annoyed.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. You get worn out, and he never finds out.
Alone with him: “I noticed it was hard for you to deliver this week. Is something going on? How shall we organize ourselves?”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. He tells you he's dealing with a problem at home. You agree on how to split the work.
Step by step
- Talk about the fact, not the person: “The report didn't come in”, not “you're lazy”.
- Ask first: there may be something you don't know.
- If the problem continues: it's raised with the right person, with facts and without gossip.
If it goes wrong. If you already spoke badly of him to others, tell them too: “I talked to him, and there were things I didn't know.”
Something really is wrong
The scene. A relative speaks very harshly to their child at a gathering. Or a friend makes a comment that seems unfair to someone else. It isn't gossip: you saw it yourself.
Inside. The urge to step in, but fear of “judging”. Or the urge to tell him “you're a bad father”.
This situation is different. Not judging isn't approving everything. You can say something is wrong without deciding who the person is. That's the difference that holds this whole route together.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
“You're a bad father.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. He gets defensive, angry. Nothing changes.
You say nothing, and later comment on it to others.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The child stays the same, and you feed the gossip.
Alone, calmly: “A while ago I saw you being really hard on him. Are you okay? You looked tired.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. He lowers his guard: “Yeah, I went too far. I'm under a lot of stress.” He can talk about what's going on, and maybe make it up to his child.
Step by step
- Talk about the fact: “I saw you being really hard on him”, not “you're a bad father”.
- Ask about the person: there's almost always something behind it.
- If there's real danger (violence, abuse), don't wait: seek professional help or the authorities. That isn't judging: it's protecting.
If it goes wrong. If you already said it harshly, you can go back: “I spoke badly to you. I was worried about your child, but that wasn't the way.”
When you're the one being judged
The scene. You find out that at work, in your family or among your friends, people are saying something about you that isn't true. Or that's half true, without the whole story.
Inside. Anger, shame, the urge to defend yourself in front of everyone or to disappear.
Choose what to answer. There's no score: it's a rehearsal.
You write a long message in the group explaining everything and accusing whoever said it.
If you choose this one
Tension goes up. Now there are two sides.
You say nothing and pull away from everyone.
If you choose this one
Stays the same. The judgment stays, and you're left alone with it.
You talk privately with whoever said it: “I heard what you said about me. I'd like to tell you what happened.”
If you choose this one
Tension goes down. The conversation is uncomfortable, but it stops the gossip at its source.
Step by step
- Breathe before answering. The first impulse is usually to defend yourself in front of everyone.
- Talk to the source, privately, with facts.
- Remember what you learned on this route: whoever judged you also had little information. That doesn't justify it, but it explains it.
- Don't judge yourself too. What they say about you isn't your whole story.
If it goes wrong. If you reacted with anger, you can go back: “It hurt and I reacted badly. Can we talk about it calmly?”
Your situation
Step 1 · Think of a judging situation that keeps happening in your life and isn't on this list.
Step 2 · Write it with the same parts. You'll use it in lesson 9.
Choose one of the five situations (or yours) and go over the step by step before bed.
Which of the situations is most like your life? Which simulator option would you have chosen before this route?
You already have a lot: your mirror, your disguises, your three stories, your tools and your situations.
In the next lesson you'll put it all together in a plan. And you'll know what to do the day you judge again, because that day will come.
Finish and go to lesson 9 →Lesson 8 of 10.
Almost there.
To take with youChoose one trick and use it today.
To take with youGo over the step by step of one situation before bed.
To take with youChoose one of the five situations (or yours) and go over the step by step before bed.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.