Superheroes have a plan for when the villain shows up. And you, for when your glasses go on?
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
Your plan looks like this: “If this happens, then I'll do that.”
For example: “If I see someone alone at recess, then I'll invite them to play.”
Make your plan
Your helper
Choose someone at home to help you: when they see your glasses go on, they'll say a secret word (for example, “specs”) to remind you of your plan.
And if the glasses win again: that's okay. You say sorry and try again tomorrow.
Stick your plan on the fridge or in your room.
Who is your helper? Why did you choose them?
The last lesson!
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Judgment doesn't warn you. It shows up in the group chat, at break, in a video. That's why it's worth deciding beforehand.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
“If this happens, then I'll do that.” For example: “If someone's voice note lands in the group, then I won't forward it without hearing the whole thing.” These plans work better than good intentions. (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006)
And a habit takes about two months: missing a day doesn't ruin anything. (Lally et al., 2010)
Build your plan
Your full plan
1 · Your three “if… then” sentences. You already built them above.
2 · Your triggers: groups, apps, moments.
3 · Your ally: someone who'll ask you “what don't you know?”.
4 · One person at school you'd like to get to know better.
5 · The day you slip: name it without punishing yourself, repair and go back to the plan.
Tell your ally your plan.
Which of your “if… then” sentences will be hardest?
The last lesson. And someone wants to tell you something.
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Sources for this lesson
- Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. Find reference: Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
- Lally, P. et al. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. View source: Lally, P. et al. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
Judgment doesn't warn you. It shows up in the chat, in the line, at the family dinner.
That's why it's worth deciding beforehand what you'll do.
Thanks for sharing. You're not the only one.
“If this happens, then I'll do that”
Concrete plans work much better than good intentions. (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006)
“If [something specific happens], then I will [do something specific].”
For example:
- “If someone starts criticizing someone else in the chat, then I'll ask: ‘Has anyone talked to them?’”
- “If what someone does bothers me, then I'll think of three stories before concluding.”
- “If I see a viral video of someone, then I won't comment or share.”
You'll judge again
Judging fast is human: it doesn't switch off. What changes is how long you stay with the first impression.
A new habit takes, on average, about two months to become automatic, and skipping a day doesn't ruin the process. (Lally et al., 2010)
Build your plan
Build three sentences. Choose an option for each part or write your own.
Your full plan
1 · Your three “if… then” sentences. You already built them above.
2 · Your triggers. In which places, groups or moments do you judge most? (The family chat, when you're tired, with certain kinds of people…)
3 · Your ally. Choose someone you trust and tell them your plan. Ask them for something specific: “If you hear me putting a label on someone, ask me ‘what don't you know?’.”
4 · One person. Write the name of someone you've judged and would like to get to know better this month.
5 · The day you slip. Write what you'll do when you catch yourself judging. Some help:
- Name it without punishing yourself.
- Repair it if you said it out loud.
- Go back to your plan the next day.
Tell your ally your plan.
Which of your “if… then” sentences will be hardest? Why?
You've reached the last lesson. You'll look in the mirror again.
And someone wants to tell you something.
Finish and go to lesson 10 →Sources for this lesson
- Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119. View source: Gollwitzer, P. M. & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
- Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. View source: Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W. & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009.
Lesson 9 of 10.
Almost there.
To take with youStick your plan on the fridge or in your room.
To take with youTell your ally your plan.
To take with youTell your ally your plan.
What you write and your progress are saved only on this device. When you finish the lesson we add 1 to the total, without knowing who you are.